Light of Darkness Read online

  The sun rises behind me, illuminating the land. My eyes blur as they attempt to adjust to the light. “Does it always hurt this much during transitions?”

  “It will for a short while, but you’ll get used to it.”

  I fall back against the hard ground, mentally exhausted, staring up into the blue sky. My eyes hurt, as if I’ve been staring into a bright light hours instead of into the dark. It’s when they shut that I find relief for both my eyes and mind. ”So, I can see in the dark now?”

  “You should be able to see past the natural veil. To see in true darkness is impossible.”

  “Okay, whatever that means.” I sigh. “Why am I going through this? Why now?”

  He sighs. “For every person, there is a point in time when they go through this. Some call it soul-searching, while others call it a midlife crisis. It can happen when you’re young and sometimes when you’re old. It’s not often that a person gets a second chance to do this though.”

  “Wait…something, some being, said the same thing about another chance. When I first fell asleep.”

  “So, there was another?” He chuckles. “I wonder if it was her that I felt.”

  “Okay? So, when was the first time I tried did this?”

  “It was over ten years ago, when your mind and body were at one of the peaks of learning, but we were interrupted and thrown even further out of balance.”

  I open my eyes and stare at the morning sky. “My aunt did tell me that I became really sick when I was seven, but everyone thought it was from the trauma of—”

  A crimson color takes over the sky. The ground beneath me softens, and I begin to sink into it like quicksand. I struggle, trying to get out, but half of my body is already buried in the muck. “Shadow, help me!” I look to him, but he just stares as the dirt slowly creeps up my face. I take a deep breath as it swallows me. Instead of black, all I see is red.

  Then, the red haze melts away, and tears begin to stream down my face. Lights flicker to life above me, illuminating the blue and gray décor of the hall. This looks familiar. I look left, and etched into the wooden frame of the doorway I’m standing in are two words: “Safe Place.” Both are written in an elegant form of cursive. I’d know that phrase and handwriting anywhere. It’s Mom’s. She would always tell me that our house was a safe place. This is my old house.

  Something pulses in my hand and it makes me hyper aware of my surroundings and myself. I gasp, like I’ve been holding my breath the whole time. My heart races a mile a minute, while my skin burns and my muscles freeze. I look down. There’s blood—a lot of it—pooling on the floor and all over me.

  The thing in my hand pulses again, and without even thinking about it, I squeeze it until it oozes like paste through my fingers. That’s when I notice a mangled form not far from me. It had been reaching toward me, but dropped dead, just inches away.

  Something crashes to the floor in the room down the hall. My parents’ room. I rush past the body in a mad dash, careful not to slip on the blood. The moment I enter the room, the smell of rotting flesh and blood assaults me. As I run in, the whole scene blurs.

  I wake up coughing, gagging. Rolling over onto my side, and puke whatever is left in my stomach. I look at my hands. There’s no blood and no mud. “What was that?”

  “The memory of that night.”

  “I don’t remember any of that.”

  “Trauma will do that. Look at what it has done to your mind. To your inner world.” I feel myself shaking. Shadow places his hand on my back. “I am sorry for bringing up such a terrible memory.”

  “Can you tell me who killed my parents, and how I survived?”

  “I overtook you, directing my power through you, but at the same time straining your body and throwing us even further out of sync. The murderers were, I don’t know...some kind of demons that I’d never seen before.”

  I sit back on my knees and look at Shadow in confusion. “Demons? You mean like you? Why would demons want to kill my parents?”

  “Kyle, now is not the time for that.”

  I try to stand, but my legs give out. So instead I hit his claw away from my shoulder. “What do you mean now is not the time? I haven’t thought about their deaths in years, and now I get these memories back, and you say there’s no time. Now is a perfect time for it. So, tell me, why?”

  He shakes his head. “Kyle, I don’t know. I don’t know who your parents were or what they had gotten themselves into. All I was doing was protecting you.”

  I try standing again. “What about my family? They needed to be protected too.” This time, my whole body shuts down, and I fall to my side. “Why…why can’t I stand?” I scream through an angered sob.

  “Your mind has been through a lot, and it has put a strain on your body. You need to rest.” I roll to my back. The tears are coming in full force now. “I shall wake you when it’s time to start again.” He places his claw over my eyes. “Now sleep.”

  My body, the ground beneath me and his claw all vanish. Just me and my thoughts are all that remain. I want to know the truth. Could Shadow be lying? What reason would he have to lie?

  A light appears over me. I open my eyes to the blinding light of the sun shining down on me. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I turn over. To my surprise, I’m floating high in the sky just above the clouds. As nice as this is, my chest and stomach hurt from the beating I took turn my dark sight training. My eyes water up. “I need to be happy right now. I wonder how the girls are doing?”

  I stop dead in the air and fall to the earth like a rock. I attempt a scream, but it’s difficult to breathe correctly as the wind flies up my nose. The ground approaches fast. I close my eyes and curl into a ball to brace for impact. With a jolt, I stop. Peeking out from behind my hands, I see that I’m no longer falling, but hovering fifteen feet in the air. Thank goodness.

  I hear someone groan and look over to see that I’m just outside of the second-story window of some house. The window is open, and a girl rests on the sill, looking out into the neighborhood, her hazel eyes glistening in the sunlight. Wait, I know those eyes.

  “Airca?!” She doesn’t react at all to the sight of me or to the sound of my voice. I wave my hand in her face—nothing. “You can’t see me, can you?” If she could, knowing her, she would have been freaking out right now. Her face is blank, meaning she’s in deep thought. I float closer. Her eyes are kind of puffy, like she’s been crying.

  “Hey, Airca, are you okay over there? You haven’t said a word since we got here.” I look past her to see Rica sitting on the bed, picking at a bowl of popcorn with Page. I push back from the window and get a good look at the house. It’s Rica’s place.

  “I’m fine,” she says, rubbing her nose—her tell. I don’t like seeing her this down. I float to her and place my hands on her cheeks. “Kyle, I wish you were here,” she whispers to herself.

  Something takes hold of my wrists, latching on like shackles. My hands are absorbed into her face. I try to pull away, but I’m sucked right in. Reality blurs until I’m no longer floating outside of the window looking in, but on the windowsill, looking out to the neighborhood.

  What’s going on? A weird sound leaves my mouth, and it’s not my voice.

  “Airca, are you okay?” Page asks from behind me.

  My gaze shifts from the window to Page, who is on the bed looking up from a magazine. “I’m—I’m fine, I just got this really weird feeling.”

  But I’m not fine at all. I think I’m in Airca… I try to move but nothing happens. How did I get myself into this?

  Page puts down the magazine, directing her attention to me—to Airca. “What kind of weird feeling?”

  Airca brings her hand to her cheek, placing it where I had touched her. I feel the warmth and softness of her fingertips against her own skin.

  “It was like someone was touching my face.” A warm breeze blows through the window, causing the pink drapes to flutter wildly. She faces into the wind, allowing its warmth to
caress her skin. She laughs. “I was so zoned out; it must have just been the wind.”

  “You were thinking about Kyle, weren’t you?” Page asks.

  Airca’s heart grows heavy and tears begin to well in her eyes. “Yeah,” she says, wiping them away.

  Page gets up, walks over to Airca, and sits on the windowsill next to her. “Come on Airca, there’s no need to worry. He’s a big boy. He’ll get through this.”

  Airca collapses into the beanbag chair by the window, letting out a big sigh. “I know. It’s just, I wish I could do something.”

  “We all feel that way, but all we can do is wait.”

  Airca lets her head hang back, and she stares up at the ceiling. There’s a long silence before they move on to doing their own things again.

  I try to move, but it feels like my arms and legs are in restraints and I’m up to my neck in mud, or worse, concrete. Beyond that, I don’t really feel my body, but I do feel her every movement—her breathing, the tightness in her back from lying this way, and the aches in her core from her feelings.

  Rica chuckles to herself, breaking the silence. “How mad do you think he’s going to be when we tell him that, the one day he misses school, his favorite band comes and plays for the seniors’ last day?” They all laugh together, but it trails off into silence again. “You went over there before you came, right? How is he doing?” Rica asks Airca.

  She props herself up and faces Rica. “Serena said that she had a doctor come out. He diagnosed Kyle with a severe case of exhaustion and said that he shouldn’t be moved until he wakes up.”

  Doctor? Aunt Serena hates doctors. She says that they don’t know anything helpful. She wouldn’t call a doctor. So, why would she lie?

  “I don’t know why she lied to me. I know she hates doctors, so she wouldn’t call one unless it was dire, and it just happened yesterday, so...”

  “Did you see him?”

  “No, I decided not to disturb him, so Serena and I had some tea.” Page stares at Airca for a second. “What?”

  She raises her eyebrow and smiles. “You know, he really likes you.”

  Airca’s face grows hot as a smile spreads across her face. “Yeah, I know.”

  Page sits up. “So, are you going to date him? I know he asked you.”

  A feeling in the pit of her stomach pulls in multiple directions. “I’m not sure.”

  Page falls onto the floor and starts flailing like a kid throwing a tantrum. “What’s there not to be sure about? You like him, he likes you, simple.”

  Airca shakes her head as a tremor of feelings surges through her, making her eye twitch. She hates when people make judgements when they’re not in the situation. “Why don’t you go out with him?” she asks, annoyed.

  Page stops her tantrum, pulls down her shorts that have ridden up her thighs, and looks at Airca with her trademark mischievous smile. “Oh, I would if he asked.”

  “Whaaat? I thought you liked girls?” Rica asks.

  “I do, but I don’t like to limit my options,” she says, sticking her tongue out. Rica puts her hands up in submission. “Would you date him, Rica?”

  She scrunches her face up, as if saying, Don’t bring me into this! “Nope. I can’t see him as more than a brother figure.”

  “Because of how you guys met, right?” Airca asks.

  “How did you two meet anyway?” Page asks.

  The small smirk touches Rica’s lips. She falls back onto the bed. “It was the first day of school, ninth grade year, and I had just gotten into a fight with this guy.”

  Page snaps around toward Rica. “Why would you try to fight a dude?”

  Rica rolls her eyes at the thought. She moves her red hair out of her face. “Well, he kept grabbing my butt, thinking it was funny. So, before he could do it again, I punched him in the face. He didn’t take it well and geared up to hit me back. I close my eyes and got ready for the hit. There was a loud smack, but nothing hurt. When I opened my eyes, I saw it wasn’t me that had been hit.”

  “So, then who did he hit?” Page asks.

  Rica looks at her with an obvious look.

  “Who do you think?” Airca asks with a sarcastic tone.

  Page lays back on the floor and thinks for moment. Her face lights up when she finally realizes they were talking about me, and then it grows a light red from her embarrassment.

  “There was Kyle, just standing there, staring the guy down with such a serious face and cold eyes. It was kind of scary—even the boy backed away. When Kyle turned toward me, everything about him changed. His eyes were warm; his face was relaxed, and he looked friendly. He asked if I was okay. I told him I was fine, and all the while the butt pincher was mouthing off about how he was going to kick both of our butts. Kyle turned back to him, going right back into that serious mode. The guy came at him, but as he threw another punch, a teacher grabbed him from behind. Kyle was about to get in trouble as well, until I explained what had happened. It was later in the nurse’s office that we made our introductions, when he was getting fixed up. I asked him why he had helped me, and he said, ‘I don’t know why, something just told me to,’” she says, mimicking me.

  Airca smiles. “Yeah, that sounds like something he would say.”

  “Yeah. It annoys me sometimes, but we’ve been friends ever since.”

  “He’s such a good guy,” Page says.

  Airca turns to stare back out the window when a pillow hits her on the side of her head. She pulls it down from her face and scowls at Rica. “Now back to you, Airca. I want a straight answer. Are you going to accept his offer?”

  She lets out an exasperated moan as she shoves her head into the pillow. “I don’t know. I mean, I really like him, but we’ve been friends for so long. I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Well, you better think of what you want to do fast, because someone could come and swoop him up right out from under you, and you may not get a second chance.”

  Airca buries her face farther into the pillow. “I know. I know.”

  An hour passes as they talk about nothing interesting. I’d go to sleep, but I’m not sure I can.

  “I’ll be back, I have to use the bathroom,” Airca says.

  What!? How didn’t I notice that?

  “All right,” both Page and Rica reply.

  She walks out of the room and down the hallway covered with pictures of Rica’s family and their trips. At the second door on her left, she walks in and flips a switch. The decorative light fixture over a mirror flicks on, illuminating the purple and white tiles lining the walls of the bathroom. She shuts the door, hurriedly rushes to the toilet, drops her pants, and takes a seat. Oh man, this is going to be awkward. I tune it all out as best I can. My vision blurs, and the sensations of her body dull. It’s when I feel something burn my hand that everything rights itself. She turns up the cold water and splashes some on her face. Looking up into the mirror, she takes a deep breath, trying to fight the sadness creeping into her eyes and into the pit of her stomach. Airca, why are you so upset?

  “I’m so worried about Kyle. I just—I just don’t know what to do,” she says as tears run down her face.

  Wait, did she just answer me? How did she even hear me? She wipes her face and hands as she prepares to leave.

  Airca, wait! She stops in her tracks. Oh, okay. Umm, can you go back to the sink? She turns around and heads back toward the mirror.

  She stands there for a second, scanning the sink. “Huh, I thought my phone was here.”

  What? Why would she think her phone was there?

  Airca, your underarm, something is wrong with it. An itchy sensation starts in her armpit, and she scratches it. Whoa, I think I do have some sort of control. Suggestion maybe? That would that mean I’m in her subconscious? Hmm, I wonder. Airca, pat your head and rub your stomach.

  She lifts her shirt, and starts rubbing her stomach. “I think I’m gaining weight.” Then she runs her fingers through her hair. “And my hair’s all fuzzy.”


  Again, not what I said. Her mind must be compensating by doing what it deems as normal. Let me try something outlandish. Airca, be sexy for me.

  Her body grows hot, her breathing a little heavy, and her eyes become glassy, like she’s not completely here. Her lips pucker out into a sensual smirk. “I’ll do whatever you ask of me, Kyle,” she says in a very lustful tone. Airca moves her straightened hair from in front of one eye to behind her ear and begins to move her finger to her lips.

  Her other hand runs slowly over her upper thigh and up under her T-shirt, creeping to her chest. This has gone way too far. Airca, stop, I need you to wake up. She stops moving. A cute smile spreads across her face. “Something else then?” She moves her hand down to her pants and starts to unbutton them. Airca, I need you to stop this. Airca, stop!

  The heat and lust controlling her body vanish as her eyes regain focus. She looks in shock at the sexual pose she’s locked in. Her cheeks grow pink in embarrassment. Fixing herself, she quickly heads back to Rica’s room. She opens the door and makes her way over to the beanbag chair by the window.

  “Airca, what took you so long?” Rica asks, flipping through the channels on her flat-screen television.

  Airca’s face heats up. She buries her face back into the pillow to hide the whirlwind of emotions churning inside her. “I had to use the bathroom. That’s all.”

  What happened in there? It was like her mind didn’t filter her desires. Which means, that’s how she may really feel. What in the hell is going on?

  “So, we’ve decided to go see Kyle and check up on him,” Page says, picking up a pair of shoes.

  Airca’s stomach tenses at the sound of my name. “Do you think it’s a good idea? He does need his rest, and Serena may not want us to disturb him.”

  Rica slides off her bed and into the sandals next to it. “I just called over there. She said it would be cool and that she could use the company. Said she got a little lonely after you left earlier.”

  Airca slips on her flats. She follows them out of the room, and they make their way down the stairs. She looks out over the small foyer, lit by the afternoon sun pouring through the new skylight. Rica’s parents are city officials and well-off, so they’re able to afford it and a load of new renovations for their house. That’s why her place is the normal hangout: more room…and food. They leave the house, lock the door behind them, and begin to walk toward mine, six blocks away.